The British Are Coming

Presented by Advisors Insurance Agency: For personal, small business, or commercial coverage, trust Jake, David, and the crew at Advisors to protect what matters—especially when what matters is your emotional stability after your 3rd pick goes full Dunlap.

Sun’s up. The cut line looms. And your blood pressure is trending upward.

Welcome to Day 2 at Augusta, where the birds are chirping, the grass is surgical, and Sergio Garcia just teed off in a shirt so yellow it briefly grounded air traffic out of Atlanta.

---

⛳ REAL GOLF UPDATE

• Justin Rose is still holding the solo lead at -8, already 1-under on the day. He’s gliding along like a man who knows you’re sweating your leaderboard spot more than he is.

• The chasing pack includes Scheffler, Conners, an Åberg, all very much in the hunt—and all very much not in your lineup (because of course not).

• Nick Dunlap, now holds the all-time record for “Most Times Mentioned in a Disgusta Post by Round 2.” He might shoot better today. He might also just walk off and become a ranger at TopGolf. TBD.

---

📉 DISGUSTA POOL NEWS

• Kyle Strowe and Reid Morelli continue to share the top spot. It’s a tenuous grip—like holding a greased tee marker on a windy day—but they’re up there.

• Team RedHat, Ben Lumsden, and Mike Gatlin are all within 2 shots and bearing down hard.

• Juicy John Stephens? Oh, Juicy. You entered a record five teams and somehow still couldn’t sneak a single one into the top 50. That’s not bad luck. That’s a PSA.

  
  

  Seriously—if Juicy had entered one more team, Augusta might’ve revoked his streaming privileges. I hope you’re better at managing people’s retirement funds than you are at managing a pick sheet.

🐾 CADDIE WATCH

Our beloved dog Indigo (aka "Caddie") continues her firm grasp on last place, but she’s now joined by Juicy’s eldest offspring, Hugh Janus Stephens. She’s calm. She’s confident. She’s deeply asleep. This morning, she accidentally pawed the TV remote and somehow managed a better lineup than Team Juicy.

🥃 TODAY’S FORECAST

• Tension: rising

• Visibility: obscured by Sergio’s shirt

• Tee Times: getting closer for yours truly—yes, I’ll be out on the course this afternoon, likely slicing drives like I’m starring in a Cutco Knives infomercial.

Expect a full leaderboard and pool update post-round—assuming I can still move my arms by then.

Until then, check your lineups, kiss your cut-line hopes goodbye, and make sure your insurance policy is adequate. Especially if you picked Tyrell Hatton and live near drywall.

Welcome back to Disgusta. Where the golf is elite, the coverage is suspect, and John Daly is undoubtedly annihilated.